the basics of the town are easy....
the bigger your car the less people are likely to violate your driver space. the lower your car, the more likely you are to get bashed (unless you're driving a lamborghini, ferrari etc)
you need a car or you're pretty much stuck. cabs are rare, and you don't take the bus.
you will avoid any and all line-ups if you are not "paid staff". i went for my medical check-up this week. blood test and x-ray to prove i'm not bringing disease into the country. there were well over 100 hundred women in the waiting area, it was embarrassing to have them automatically make way for me to get ahead of the line-up.
your way of dressing defines who you are and how you will be treated.
people are bought.
money grows on trees.
i'm sure i can think of more if i tried hard enough, but that's enough cynicism for one entry.
this week has been interesting, if it wasn't for my boss or the job itself, i'd be on the first flight home. i am a little bit of an outsider. i look like the locals but am far from being one. unless you live it, it's hard to describe and i'm a bit of a sourpuss to get into it today.
the supper i was going to last weekend was great! the restaurant was nice. it was entirely buffet style with a great food variety. they had these super tasty looking lobsters but i couldn't have a bite, alex loves lobster and i can't enjoy it without him. there hasn't been much more activity besides that. there's not much to do, and it's way too hot to be outdoors for longer than 10 minutes at a time.
as for the wedding....it seems so far away right now but i know i should be taking care of little details. i have no idea what kind of dress i even want, maybe i should try some one? and the lady taking care of invitations has been waiting for me to send potential invite wording. it feels like i have forever to do all this!!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Lebanese Cherries
it's the weekend here. fridays and saturdays are the days off. i slept most of the day today, likely recovering from jet lag. not that i hadn't slept enough the night before...i didn't set an alarm and was woken up by the head superintendent explaining why i might not have running water. it came back 20 minutes later and had he not called me, i would have slept properly and wouldn't have even known.
i'm ssttaaaaarving!!! not that there isn't any food here. i went grocery shopping last night at the last minute and hadn't made a list. so i bought fruit and milk and a couple household items. now i realize none of it is enough to give me sustenance!! so today, lebanese cherries filled my tummy at suppertime. hopefully that will be enough to hold me til i write this blog and go grab something.
speaking of grocery shopping, it's beyond pricey here. i don't know how people get by here. the local stuff isn't great quality so you have to buy american or european brands. for example: scott towels are $20 for 6. kellogg's cereals are $9-$12 a box. grapefruit and oranges are ALL from florida and cost $10/kg!! those are all in US $. instead i save on gaz...about $.20/L. YES! TWENTY CENTS per LITRE!! :) the weather is super hot during the day, in the evening you can be outside for a while. right now it's about 33C, which is totally bearable but you get thirsty really fast and started sweating for no reason even if you stand still.
tomorrow i'll get a little taste of life here. one of my colleagues is leaving Doha, which is quite a frequent occurrence apparently, and we are having a goodbye supper for her. i'm looking forward to experiencing the friend/work dynamics.
i'm ssttaaaaarving!!! not that there isn't any food here. i went grocery shopping last night at the last minute and hadn't made a list. so i bought fruit and milk and a couple household items. now i realize none of it is enough to give me sustenance!! so today, lebanese cherries filled my tummy at suppertime. hopefully that will be enough to hold me til i write this blog and go grab something.
speaking of grocery shopping, it's beyond pricey here. i don't know how people get by here. the local stuff isn't great quality so you have to buy american or european brands. for example: scott towels are $20 for 6. kellogg's cereals are $9-$12 a box. grapefruit and oranges are ALL from florida and cost $10/kg!! those are all in US $. instead i save on gaz...about $.20/L. YES! TWENTY CENTS per LITRE!! :) the weather is super hot during the day, in the evening you can be outside for a while. right now it's about 33C, which is totally bearable but you get thirsty really fast and started sweating for no reason even if you stand still.
tomorrow i'll get a little taste of life here. one of my colleagues is leaving Doha, which is quite a frequent occurrence apparently, and we are having a goodbye supper for her. i'm looking forward to experiencing the friend/work dynamics.
i hope you guys are reading and enjoying this. there are no computers left in the regular space, so i'm in the smoke infested area of this internet cafe. i'm sure my cancer cells are getting fed very well and preparing to take over more than just my lungs. time to go feed myself.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
counting my lucky stars
so i made it!! i'm sitting at a net cafe, about a five minute walk from my flat....in DOHA, QATAR!!
i cannot explain the pain of leaving my family. the tears at the airport. the line-up before heading into security, snaking our way through the roped line. looking back at my fiance's face. not knowing when i'd see it again...but knowing for sure it wouldn't be for a while. the pain of seeing my mother's face traced with tears. not knowing the pain a mother feels in these situations, but knowing it's enough to add a few wrinkles on her face.
justifying leaving in that situation is not possible. so all i could pray for is that something good may come out of the move, and so far so great. the travelling was easy thanks to a dear friend who hooked me up with an upgrade. the arrival was so-so, the appartment was as well. it took a day or two and everything is in order now. the appartment is fantastic, the weather bearable (mad dashes from a/c in car to a/c in office). the only detail is adjusting to various body odors...consquences of various personal hygiene habits.
the office and colleagues are a bonus. it may be too soon to tell, but everyone is brilliant and i feel more than equipped to do my job.
just a quick thank you for the supportive voices out there. i SO appreciate the time you take to reply to these notes. i write them hoping they'll resonate with someone and know that the fears/joys i face may have been felt by others.
more to come, with greater details about what it's like in a gulfie/quasi-wahabi country. where 34C and humidity is considered "GREAT WEATHER!!".
i cannot explain the pain of leaving my family. the tears at the airport. the line-up before heading into security, snaking our way through the roped line. looking back at my fiance's face. not knowing when i'd see it again...but knowing for sure it wouldn't be for a while. the pain of seeing my mother's face traced with tears. not knowing the pain a mother feels in these situations, but knowing it's enough to add a few wrinkles on her face.
justifying leaving in that situation is not possible. so all i could pray for is that something good may come out of the move, and so far so great. the travelling was easy thanks to a dear friend who hooked me up with an upgrade. the arrival was so-so, the appartment was as well. it took a day or two and everything is in order now. the appartment is fantastic, the weather bearable (mad dashes from a/c in car to a/c in office). the only detail is adjusting to various body odors...consquences of various personal hygiene habits.
the office and colleagues are a bonus. it may be too soon to tell, but everyone is brilliant and i feel more than equipped to do my job.
just a quick thank you for the supportive voices out there. i SO appreciate the time you take to reply to these notes. i write them hoping they'll resonate with someone and know that the fears/joys i face may have been felt by others.
more to come, with greater details about what it's like in a gulfie/quasi-wahabi country. where 34C and humidity is considered "GREAT WEATHER!!".
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Leaving... :(? :)?
I got my ticket confirmation today. I'll be leaving for Doha on Monday. My departure was supposed to be early April and kept getting pushed back...so you'd think I'd be ready by now. I'm not. There is a torrent of emotion going through me and I can't pin each one down. There's so much anxiety, fear and guilt battling with curiosity and excitement. I don't know which one I should allow myself to feel.
My parents are barely settled in and I feel I should be here for them. I'm middle-eastern, so the "it's my life and I should go ahead and live it" doesn't apply. I'm worried how it's going to be for them, but then again, I wonder what difference it would really make if I was here for another week or two. And then I think of my mom, and how she would appreciate my being there for things like painting and picking out colors and materials. She doesn't lay the guilt on at all, but the silence of her saying it hurts even more.
Then there's my fiance. The guilt of forcing seperation on him, as much as he was aware of my goals and dreams when we met, to make this a reality may be too much. To me, being engaged isn't a "trial period", I've been as good as married since he proposed. (For those married folks, I know things change when you're married for real, what I mean is that I have no doubts that he's the one). I wonder where "absence makes the heart grow fonder" comes from. I wonder if I should have waited until we were married to move away like this. I hate thinking "time will tell". Time never tells. Time only reveals peoples behavior, it reveals choices and the consequences they bring. For now, all I can chose to believe is what I know for sure....and that is that my love for him his true and unwavering. My intentions are to build myself into the best, strongest woman I can be and so to be the best, strongest partner my partner may ever need.
And then there's the job itself...there's SSSOOO many "what ifs" where that is concerned. The consequences of loving/hating it. The adjusting to the way of life out there. The meeting new people and making new friends. I don't even have an emergency contact!! Who is gonna be able to rescue me in case I get a major disease??? Ok...thinking about it will just cause more frenzy. I learned long ago that I can analyze and prepare all I want, it still doesn't mean I'll know how to deal with it when I get there. And you can live without an emergency contact, right?
I have a little over five days left in Montreal. I'll try to make the best of each and will attempt not to tinge them with the concerns I've been having the past few hours.
My parents are barely settled in and I feel I should be here for them. I'm middle-eastern, so the "it's my life and I should go ahead and live it" doesn't apply. I'm worried how it's going to be for them, but then again, I wonder what difference it would really make if I was here for another week or two. And then I think of my mom, and how she would appreciate my being there for things like painting and picking out colors and materials. She doesn't lay the guilt on at all, but the silence of her saying it hurts even more.
Then there's my fiance. The guilt of forcing seperation on him, as much as he was aware of my goals and dreams when we met, to make this a reality may be too much. To me, being engaged isn't a "trial period", I've been as good as married since he proposed. (For those married folks, I know things change when you're married for real, what I mean is that I have no doubts that he's the one). I wonder where "absence makes the heart grow fonder" comes from. I wonder if I should have waited until we were married to move away like this. I hate thinking "time will tell". Time never tells. Time only reveals peoples behavior, it reveals choices and the consequences they bring. For now, all I can chose to believe is what I know for sure....and that is that my love for him his true and unwavering. My intentions are to build myself into the best, strongest woman I can be and so to be the best, strongest partner my partner may ever need.
And then there's the job itself...there's SSSOOO many "what ifs" where that is concerned. The consequences of loving/hating it. The adjusting to the way of life out there. The meeting new people and making new friends. I don't even have an emergency contact!! Who is gonna be able to rescue me in case I get a major disease??? Ok...thinking about it will just cause more frenzy. I learned long ago that I can analyze and prepare all I want, it still doesn't mean I'll know how to deal with it when I get there. And you can live without an emergency contact, right?
I have a little over five days left in Montreal. I'll try to make the best of each and will attempt not to tinge them with the concerns I've been having the past few hours.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Painting it black...
I must start by thanking you all for your encouragement. I was worried blogging would make everyone think I'm a little self-obsessed and then I figured if I started caring about what other people would think, then I would start censoring myself. A big no-no in my world. I did a radio show at my old job and we were talking about blogging and putting your life out there. Callers were very adamant about how people who blog have nothing to offer really and that there's no need to read about other people when you have your own life to live. I guess they'd be happy to also live completely cut out from the outside world with no human contact apart from a doctor's visit. Those are the people who die and have no one who goes to see them.
So back to blogging...which I will be sure to do without long lapses in time.
Doha is happening soon. I got my work visa this week and my flight is being arranged by the company. There's something final about one-way tickets. Like there is no way back at all, even though you could just book yourself a ticket back. It gave me the shivers when they told me I'd be getting booked on one for mid-July. Level 2 panic came when I found out I'd only be allowed 2x 23kg of baggage instead of the usual 2x 32kg for international flights. Something about airlines not wanting to pay insurance premiums for their employees who get back problems from lifting heavy luggage. I think I'll just shut up and pay the extra $$ and not cut shoes and make-up.
Technically I have a little over a week left here, and even though I anticipated the move, I am far from ready. My parents just sold their house to my fiance and I. It will hopefully be rented soon or the money that was supposed to be saved for the wedding will be spent in mortgage payments, in which case this blog will turn into a fundraising tactic a-la-Star-Jones. So it's been a fairly big move considering they weren't able to land movers. Even middle-eastern bribery (ie: offering your eldest daughter) did not work (and not because she's engaged, but because the companies felt this was an unbalanced trade).
Three rented moving trucks, three days, and many "thanks!" to friends later, we are finally settled in the new place. I use "settled" loosely considering we don't have a fridge or stove til next week. So we paint to keep ourselves busy. My room has gone from a black/charcoal/green to a fabulous canary yellow, the ceiling fan replaced by a small classic chandelier and the furniture I will paint black. Along with the entrance wall and any other accent piece. I've learned that "every room needs a touch of black". I will let you know how it goes.
So back to blogging...which I will be sure to do without long lapses in time.
Doha is happening soon. I got my work visa this week and my flight is being arranged by the company. There's something final about one-way tickets. Like there is no way back at all, even though you could just book yourself a ticket back. It gave me the shivers when they told me I'd be getting booked on one for mid-July. Level 2 panic came when I found out I'd only be allowed 2x 23kg of baggage instead of the usual 2x 32kg for international flights. Something about airlines not wanting to pay insurance premiums for their employees who get back problems from lifting heavy luggage. I think I'll just shut up and pay the extra $$ and not cut shoes and make-up.
Technically I have a little over a week left here, and even though I anticipated the move, I am far from ready. My parents just sold their house to my fiance and I. It will hopefully be rented soon or the money that was supposed to be saved for the wedding will be spent in mortgage payments, in which case this blog will turn into a fundraising tactic a-la-Star-Jones. So it's been a fairly big move considering they weren't able to land movers. Even middle-eastern bribery (ie: offering your eldest daughter) did not work (and not because she's engaged, but because the companies felt this was an unbalanced trade).
Three rented moving trucks, three days, and many "thanks!" to friends later, we are finally settled in the new place. I use "settled" loosely considering we don't have a fridge or stove til next week. So we paint to keep ourselves busy. My room has gone from a black/charcoal/green to a fabulous canary yellow, the ceiling fan replaced by a small classic chandelier and the furniture I will paint black. Along with the entrance wall and any other accent piece. I've learned that "every room needs a touch of black". I will let you know how it goes.
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